Tour has been teaching me a lot about myself.

Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime.

Marie.

I haven't felt very inspired to write on my blog, but I thought I'd tell you about somebody I love very much.

Her name is Marie.

You might know her.

Her last name is Jeffries.

She inspires me.

A few days ago we ran to the store to get a wrap for Tim's twisted ankle. First of all, Tim needs to take better care of his ankle. But secondly while we were at the store Marie explained why she was there by saying; "I find out what people need, and I get it for them. I fix it." It's just what she does.

Tonight, in the middle of the program, one of the girls needed to safety pin her dress, and Marie went running out to find a safety pin and then utilized her near-superhero-like safety-pinning abilities to aid in this dire situation. Because...that's what she does. She helps when people need help. She loves when people need love. She wants to work with IJM when she grows up.

Marie is so focused on other people, has such a heart for the hurting and lost and abused and misused and mistreated and ignored, that the way she lives her life is one of the most powerful examples of love I know.

I love Marie, and I hope some day I can love like Marie.

I need to re-learn, or learn for the first time, how to have a serious conversation. Since I wrote that post about wanting to...I've mostly failed...it's as if I didn't learn to walk when I was young, and I still crawl around.

In other news: tour is amazing. :)

Hello.

I miss...

this

that

nothing

everything

you.

Lip Syncer's Worship

I'm a lip syncer. I lip sync. I love lip syncing. Highly emotional songs like Mariah Carey's "Without You" and Maroon 5's "Harder to Breathe" are among my favorites. As I mouth the words (and occasionally dance lamely) I can feel the emotions behind them. Though I may never have experienced the events that are lyricised by Johnny Cash's "Hurt" or Kate Nash's "Foundations" I can almost imagine feeling the way they do. Emotion is a powerful drug...maybe that's why I enjoy the art of lip syncing so much.

But.

 But.

I've begun to wonder in worship these past few weeks whether I am just lip syncing aloud. When I cry "Blessed be the Lord!" do I mean it? Or is this lip syncers worship? Do I believe that "my God is mighty to save"? What is my faith?

This years ICC theme "Lead the Escape" is represented by the image of a parrot. The idea is to lead the escape from artificial communication to authentic communication.

When I lip sync I am parroting the words and emotions of the singers and songwriters. When I worship...am I doing the same thing?

What if my faith is a lip syncers faith? What if I say the words of the hymns, repeat those of the oft-quoted verses, and all I'm doing is parroting the truth? Is it still the truth?

Lip syncers worship.

Lip syncers faith.

Lip syncers love.

I say I love so many people. But do I?

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

I say it every day. Am I parroting these feelings?

I want to escape to authenticity!

I want to be real. 

Authentic worship.

Authentic faith.

True love.

God. Lead my escape. 

to.be.real.

For a while now I have been a sarcastic, fun-loving (and occasionally incredibly witty) version of myself. No matter what situation I find myself in I inevitably respond with either a sarcastic comment, a pun, a change of subject, or silence.

But I can't shake this desire to change. There is that person inside of me that wants to think and feel and experience serious things. I do, very often by myself, ponder and think and examine what really makes this universe run. And I like that. :) 

I do the same thing in the speeches I give. I find that in front of three judges and a timer I can be as serious as I want, and it feels like freedom. Now having given my persuasive at the Hutchins' youth group in RI...I'm finding I've bridged the gap between my speaking life and my, shall we say, real life. I had the opportunity to talk to a few people there about how I felt about a cause that is very serious and important to me.

Sure, I've "spoken in the community" before...but only in more formal settings, and mostly with interps.

This upcoming internship with Communicators For Christ is, I think, going to do the same thing...for the better. It's going to force me to care, really and truly, to mean what I say on the platform, and to have a serious conversation or two with people.

That's been my problem for a long time. Having a real, real, real conversation. An actual two-way interaction that involves a serious topic, without spending the entire time cracking jokes or avoiding the subject.

I'm gonna go grab some breakfast, and maybe strike up a conversation over a bagel or a bowl of cereal.

New Layout! [and some other life updates]

Guess what?!

I'm posting twice in the same month. OH YEAH!

{technically the layout isn't new, I just switched out the pictures and the colors, so...new-ish}

I've been having fun with Photoshop Elements lately. See: new banner & the picture below:

I also got a new computer. :insert happy dance here:

I've been working on my classes for tour. That's actually been quite fun, talking about tacos? yeah. yeah. hard work.

I'm officially addicted to twitter. That's...all I have to say on that subject.

Also, mom has gotten me into "So You Think You Can Dance?" and I really like this song so...

{p.s. Evan is my favorite}

Well...that's enough about me. People are so inherently selfish that it's so easy to talk about yourself, and I kinda hate that. It's also what blog posts always end up doing for me...so :shrug: