to.be.real.

For a while now I have been a sarcastic, fun-loving (and occasionally incredibly witty) version of myself. No matter what situation I find myself in I inevitably respond with either a sarcastic comment, a pun, a change of subject, or silence.

But I can't shake this desire to change. There is that person inside of me that wants to think and feel and experience serious things. I do, very often by myself, ponder and think and examine what really makes this universe run. And I like that. :) 

I do the same thing in the speeches I give. I find that in front of three judges and a timer I can be as serious as I want, and it feels like freedom. Now having given my persuasive at the Hutchins' youth group in RI...I'm finding I've bridged the gap between my speaking life and my, shall we say, real life. I had the opportunity to talk to a few people there about how I felt about a cause that is very serious and important to me.

Sure, I've "spoken in the community" before...but only in more formal settings, and mostly with interps.

This upcoming internship with Communicators For Christ is, I think, going to do the same thing...for the better. It's going to force me to care, really and truly, to mean what I say on the platform, and to have a serious conversation or two with people.

That's been my problem for a long time. Having a real, real, real conversation. An actual two-way interaction that involves a serious topic, without spending the entire time cracking jokes or avoiding the subject.

I'm gonna go grab some breakfast, and maybe strike up a conversation over a bagel or a bowl of cereal.